Limb Part Two

In the throes of panic I text writing friend/mentor/talker off ledges who encourages me to write to Hippocampus editor and ask what happened, believing that there is some logical explanation other than that something horrible has happened and its all my fault.

Turns out: 
I was so nervous about submitting my book review late in December that I actually submitted super early which means that when it came time to publish the issue, my book review was long forgotten. This was immediately corrected and had I not mentioned it to you, you probably wouldn't've noticed.

Logical explanation, quick response time and complete correction of situation.

Why I Believe This Story Is Worth Telling: 

1. Because I was so busy worrying that I had made a grievous error that I almost didn't speak up for myself even though I am in the middle of building a career predicated on the importance of speaking up for yourself.
2. Also because it took a good friend to give my head a shake and push me out the door.
3. And finally because you need to know that even people who blah blah on and on about follow up and feedback sometimes get caught up in worst-case-scenario-ing and need encouragement.

If You Want to Read the Book Review:

click here

Out On A Limb: Part One

December 2018

Write first ever book review for Hippocampus Magazine and submit approx 12 hours before piece is due. 

Turn off computer and take first ever digital/screen/social media break with no access to email or text for a week.

January 2019

Return to world of screens to discover multiple emails/messages saying that file was never received or was impossible to open.

Deadline missed.

Heart sinks.

File then re-covered and re-sent, posted in Jan 2019 issue.

Problem solved.

Yet: left with lingering sense that have taken fantastic opportunity (book reviewer for a lit mag) and ruined it for myself, reputation will be forever destroyed and all future book reviews will be read through the lens of skepticism because personal credibility is now very much in question.

Realistically: no one cares.

Summer 2019

Receive another book for book review for Hippocampus Magazine and it's called: "The Uncomfortable Confessions of a Preacher's Kid."

Problem/Concern: I'm Jewish. Very Jewish. How will I relate to this book.

On the Other Hand: That's why we/I read memoir. Obsessed Interesting to learn about other lives and walk in other shoes preferably shiny new sneakers.

Fall 2019

Do nothing about this upcoming project. However  leaving something to marinate in the back of your mind is not exactly the same as doing nothing because sometimes it takes (me) a while to come up with a solution/idea.

December 2019

Read book. Have idea for review but know that it's a bit out there. Instead of straight book review will write it in Evangelical prayer form. Our Father, etc.

Write review.

Send it in weeks ahead of deadline.

Put in cover letter: I went out on a limb with this one. Please let me know if it's too much and I will write more normal version.

Also put in cover letter: I will be going screen-free for a week so I'm cc'ing my Husband here. Please let him know if there are any problems/issues/concerns re file so that we don't have a repeat performance of what happened last year even though I'm sure you don't remember but I am still recuperating  and he will let me know.

December 2019

Response from Hippo: Got review. All good. Happy New Year.

January 2020

Hippocampus Magazine comes out.

Book review is not in it.

Possible Explanations:

1. Everyone remembers what happened last year and decided that if I'm going to be presumptuous and take screen breaks without being sure that my file was opened then I get what I deserve 

2. Once my review was opened and read, it was deemed too horrible to even send a rejection letter and so someone else was assigned the book to do a more normal review

3. Someone was offended about the Jewish/Evangelical thing and no one knows how to talk to me about it.

What Really Happened:

Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you the rest of the story.

The Straw That (Part 3)

Let me catch you up to date.

First, if this is the first you're hearing about a straw debacle - check out parts one and deux here and here.

Here's the latest-

B's adorable girlfriend comes in and says she saw a package outside our house and picked it up for us before it could get stolen (by what are now called porch pirates - you're welcome).

A package? Hmmm. I think everything on sale in the Western Hemisphere I ordered has already arrived.

Wait, it's from the same people that inadvertently sent me those nesting straws. What do they want now?

Did you order something from them? Husband asks.

I don't think so, I say with all the conviction of someone who accidentally ordered face scrub from Spain.

I open the package and it's the same package of nesting straws.

No.

This can't be possible.

Check the packing slip, and yup, poor Amy Fish from Monroe Township loses her straws once again. In fact, according to the slip, these were sent URGENT and FOR QUICK DELIVERY.

Husband takes a closer look at the straws than I ever did and figures out that in fact they do come with a cleaning brush so let me print a retraction right here and say I'm sorry for the Ew.

I immediately pull out my phone and contact customer service, letting them know that once again, they have the wrong Amy Fish.

Just kidding.

We finish dinner and forget about the reusable nesting straws.

Three days elapse.

Oh right I forgot to deal with the straws.

Jump back on to website and chat box with same guy.

Try to explain what happened but he keeps referring to it as "my order".

I tell him this is the furthest thing from my order, I never asked for these straws, and if anything they are becoming the opposite of environmentally friendly as they continuously re-ship them incorrectly to not only the wrong person, but the wrong country.

(I am wondering what poor Amy Fish is using for straws while this all gets ironed out)

Chat box guy is stumped and told me he needs to research this further and get back to me.

Meanwhile I am seriously considering one of the following:

• Moving to Monroe Township to see what other mail I can intercept
• Changing my name to Cardi B, I'm sure her online shopping is better than a few lousy straws
• Sending the straws to Amy at my own expense 
• Using disposable straws as a lifetime protest

This story is probably not over, stay tuned.