No Such Thing As A Free Car Wash

Background

Have been doing a lot of interviews in conjunction with my new book. One question I get asked all the time is: 

Do you always complain effectively? Or is there ever a time where you don't complain, or you don't get what you want?

Background 2

A couple a days ago I was interviewed for a podcast and the answer to a lot of the questions was: 

The blog. Complaint Department. I try to post every Monday. I write a piece of creative nonfiction, I guess you'd call it flash non fiction, on Mondays. Yeah, it requires discipline, but I find for my readers, they get used to looking out for my posts on Mondays.

Therefore

Here is a story about me not complaining effectively and not getting what I want. Also, today is Tuesday.

So:

Car maintenance A16 needed. Appointment Monday morning 7:45am.

Pull up at 7:52am, right on schedule.

Check in with Junior Automotive Consultant. 

Your car will be ready in about an hour maybe 45 minutes.

In that case, I'll wait. 

Great. I'll mark a W on your page so that the guys in the back will know to move their you-know-whats. Would you like your car washed.

No thank you. I have to get to work. Please just do the A16.

Yes Ma'am that's not a problem. 

Thank you.

Pull book that I'm working on for book review out of my bag and get some reading in.

Finish oat milk latte (brought from home, car dealership is nice but come on)

Read more pages, call my sister, blah around on social.

Oh.

Almost two hours have elapsed.

Check in with Junior Automotive Consultant. What Happened to My Car.

Hmmm. He says. I think they may have taken it to get washed.

I don't want my car washed.

Yeah, I know. I'm not sure what happened. Let me look in the back.

(Looks in the back)

Yup, they took your car to be washed. It will probably be a few more minutes.

Well like how many minutes. I thought you said it would be about an hour.

Yeah, it should be. But for some reason they thought it needed to be washed.

Senior Automotive Consultant looks up from his computer.

I can see right here that you didn't want your car washed. I'm not sure what happened, but I also think we have a misunderstanding.

Oh?

Yes, you were here at what - 7:30am? The guys don't start working till 8am, so - ?

Right. I get it. But I have to get to work and my car is -?

Junior goes in back to see where car is again.

Senior says I can close you out here as soon as they punch in the ticket.

(I don't speak car dealership but I think he wants my credit card)

I hope you aren't charging me for the car wash.

No, no, ma'am that's entirely complementary. 

Thank you.

I will be late for work but at least I'll be driving a clean -

Is that my car?

Yes Ma'am.

And it was washed?

No. It was in the queue for the car wash, but we took it out to give it back to you so that you wouldn't have to wait any longer.

In Conclusion

1. You can ask to not get your car washed and still not get your car washed, but longer version.

2. W on the work order can mean customer Waiting or could mean Wash car even when customer says not to (or it could mean What a Sucker)

3. I somehow managed to wait an extra 90 minutes and STILL not benefit from a free car wash. How's that for ineffective complaining?