Friday 1 March 2019

Mom, What's a Boner?

Adults only dinner.

Grilled fish, polenta, black rice.

Conversation turns to local politics, art house films and whether the red is too oaky.

Just Kidding.

Conversation turns to our kids and whether or not they should be allowed to watch this movie, that TV show or the other youtube series.

Adult turns to me: We know you don't care about what your children watch.

That's not true;  I care deeply about what my children watch.

But you let them watch everything! So, obviously, you don't care!

Easy there, sailor.  Let's not confuse a No Censorship Policy with a complete lack of policy.

I have a very well thought out No Censorship Policy:  my kids can watch/read/listen to anything they want. I have marinated long and hard about this. Perhaps longer than you marinated the cod, if we are being honest.

From the time I watched 8-mile with my 8 year old, my children have always been allowed to watch whatever they want and if they don't understand what they are seeing, they can ask me questions.

They may ask why Anthony Michael Hall is sniffing panties.  They may ask why "fag" is a bad word, or why cigarette smoking used to be cool (or, and I blame Tom Cruise for this one -  "wait, he's paying her to be his girlfriend? Is that even legal?")

If there is something I don't want to talk about, my go-to lines are:
  • "That question is too personal."
  • "You realize that I'm your mother?
  • "Look it up."
If I am worried that a movie might be too scary I say, "I am worried this movie might be too scary.  Or "too sad." Or "too confusing".

Fellow parents, I understand that this may not work for you.

You may not be ready to answer difficult questions.

Perhaps there are some conversations that you feel can wait until your kids are older.

I respect your decisions. Your children, your choice.

But please, don't think that letting my kids govern their own television watching means that I don't care what they are looking at.

Au contraire, my friend. Au contraire.













2 comments:

  1. You and I have the very same approach, and I think it’s working great for us. When I asked our 7-year-old twins (now 16 going on 30!) if they had been too scared by Pirates of the Caribbean, they said “Mom, it’s just a movie, it’s not real,” because we talked about that BEFORE we watched. When we listened to Eminem and Rihanna’s “Love the Way You Lie”, we talked about abusive relationships....and we keep talking about it all. BECAUSE we care.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for getting where I'm coming from. That's EXACTLY it. I talk about it BECAUSE I care. xo

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