Love Thy

Warning
I am going to pretend this story happened to me although it did not.

Honour Thy
Today is a Jewish Holiday called Shavuot which commemorates getting the Ten Commandments. It is the same level of holiday as Passover but for some reason never took off much with North American Jews.
Here's why that was a bad call:

• Shavuot you eat ice cream, cheesebagels and blintzes, Passover you eat matza, horseradish and balls of boiled fish;
• Shavuot you give each other flowers and plants, Passover you have to scrub your house from head to toe;
• Shavuot is two and a half days, Passover lasts over a week; and
• Shavuot you get to stay up all night reading, Passover you have to spill your wine.

(As my mother used to say Smart Smart but Dumb Dumb)

Respect Thy

We are building a new deck (not really me I am pretending this is my story this is your last warning) in the back and these projects can be super loud and messy.

Workers want to come on the weekend but I say No because neighbours are knee deep in cheesecake

celebrating an important holiday and I don't want to disrespect them with loud deck noise.

Workers say I know that matza cracker crunches loud when you eat it but they will still be able to hear themselves spill wine. No no. I say. Not that holiday. This is the one where you exchange tulip bouquets and have giant banana splits. Um sure lady they say. We will halt our work mid deck-build but there is no guarantee that we can come back on Monday. You may have to lose a few days to this so called holiday.

I am annoyed but derive some satisfaction from the fact that I am honouring the Lord on this day by respecting my neighbours and hey maybe I'll make a key lime cheesecake later.

Thou Shalt Not

Shavuot weekend rolls around and I am in the kitchen melting butter to mix with graham cracker crumbs when I see three workers approaching through the back hedge. I guess they got their days confused. I slide open glass door to tell them - Oh. 

Those are not the same guys that are building my deck. These characters are headed straight to the religious neighbours. Are they looking for a scoop of Oreo banana? Are they hoping to read all night? Are they bringing flowers?

No, Nope and Uh-Uh. 

They are taking out their tool belts.

They are hammering and sawing and making lots of noise.

They are rebuilding the religious neighbour's deck. On the holiday. Amidst bites of cheesecake.

They are using a snowblower to clean up which is blowing inches of dust all over my yard, half-built deck, kitchen window.

Revelation 

1. Now I can see why this holiday never took off. Very noisy and too much dust.

2. Commandment should be re-written to read: Love thy neighbour as much or slightly less than you love yourself, and don't cancel your deck re-build just to make them happy because they wouldn't do the same for you.