It Happened to Me

Trying to make coffee/drinks date with New Writer Friend when it turns out we both like burritos and there is a burrito shop in my building.

In fact we both like de-constructed burrito bowls which we both order.

We are blah blah blahing away when it turns out there is a little rock in my deconstructed burrito bowl. It's gray and about the size of a tooth.

(It is not a tooth. I checked.)

I get up and bring the deconstructed burrito bowl which is in a mini tin foil pan but imagine a bowl back to the cash. I show the stone to the cashier who also made the food a few minutes earlier.

The only thing I can do for you is give you your money back. He says.

That's all I want. I say. I paid cash.

I remember. He says. And gives me back the nine dollars and forty something cents.

I take my deconstructed back to the table and resume eating.

Q & A:

Q: I always want to complain but some people worry that the chef will spit in their food. How do you avoid this?
A: In this case, the food was in my hands the whole time so there was no spitting risk. Also the kitchen is open so I could see if any bodily fluids were exchanged with my guac. If you are genuinely worried that someone is going to hoark in your food you have the following options:

• complain on the way out, after you've finished your meal;
• only eat at restaurants with open kitchens so that you can see what's what;
• only order things where spit would immediately show up, for example a steak, and avoid easy camouflage items like fettuccini alfredo; and/or
• never complain about anything and resign your self to suboptimal treatment for the rest of your days.

Q: How could you finish the dish once you found a rock in it?
A: I was hungry. Also, burrito. Truth is it looked like the kind of rock that you find when you rinse your rice out. For all of you non-rice rinsers, be careful this could happen to you. It looked more like something forgotten than something sinister but I still didn't feel I should have to pay for the meal.

Q: Were you embarrassed to complain in front of someone you barely know?
A: Maybe I should have been, in retrospect, but the truth is it didn't even occur to me. I saw the rock, stood up and dealt with the problem.

Q: You paid almost ten bucks for a burrito?
A: You know, I grapple with this issue a lot. There is controversy regarding privilege (eg, having a job, buying lunch, overspending). At the same time, there is controversy surrounding authenticity (eg, pretending that it's your last dime when in fact you have a whole stack of dimes.) I am not sure what to feel about this, other than to say that I have had varying income levels in my lifetime, I have paid more for a burrito and less for a pair of shoes, and if any of this is insulting or inappropriate I am sorry, that is not my intention.