Count the Buts

Need new Roar and Roadwork coffee table that is like hulu: Not Available In Canada.

But.

Canadian store will special order Roar and Roadwork for delivery.

But.

Will not deliver to my house.

Are you not a delivery company?

Yes we are. But. Only in US. In Canada we can special order only to store.

But my house is in Canada. So while you are here, couldn't you just pull the truck over and roll the Roar and Roadwork over.

Wish we could, Ma'am.

But.

Unfortunately that is out of the question.

For reasons that I would only understand if this was actually my story and not hijacked from someone who told it to me The only possible coffee table I can live with is this Roar and Roadwork. So I order it from US company for delivery to Canadian store.

Canadian store calls, Roar is in.

Drive to store, double park, lift extra heavy coffee table into my car, drive home.

Unpack coffee table from crate and all is fine.

But.

It's not the coffee table that I ordered.

Call 1-800-Canadian-Coffee-Table-Problems and Customer Service Agent is lovely.

Yes I see here that you ordered the Roar. You do realize that there are two Roars on our website?

Check website while on the phone and I see the second Roar.

But.

This not the Roar I ordered, nor is it the Roar in my living room.

Yes, that makes sense. There are two Roar coffee tables on the web site, and it looks here like we special ordered you a third Roar. This one is only available by special order.

I need to return this Roar and get the actual Roar that I wanted in the first place, I roar state politely.

But.

You are in Canada. We don't deliver to Canada. You would have to create a special order and have the coffee table delivered to the store.

Customer Service Lessons Learned:

1. Moving to Canada seems like a good idea until you need a particular coffee table.

2. Do not take for granted when you order something online that there aren't multiple versions with same name sold by same company with absolutely no differentiation and no way to determine what you've actually purchased until you uncrate it.

3. Just because I say "It happened to me…" doesn't technically mean it happened to me.

4. Just because you are resting your feet on an American piece of furniture does not mean you will be able to watch hulu.