As An Example, Godot

Order lunch delivery to my office to save time, not money.

Projected dumpling delivery time: 55 minutes.

63 minutes later, co-worker asks What Happened to Your Lunch.

Call restaurant.

Lunch on its way.

82 minutes later am gnawing on my left elbow.

Call restaurant again.

Lunch on its way. Oh. No it isn't. Lunch has been delivered.

To whom? Where?

No idea Ma'am. Call delivery company.

(Wish I could)

Have a little chit chat with company chatbot.

Chatbot asks what happened to free spiralizer. (Just kidding. That is a reference to a Twitter contest I hosted last week where a chatbot won a spiralizer.)

Chatbot says order was delivered, clearly to wrong person and gives me refund.

I complain more using key words like: I am unhappy, I am a good customer, This is not the service I am used to.

Chatbot falls right into my hot little hands offers me an additional $20 coupon for my inconvenience.

Take elevator down to restaurants in my building and realize that lunch delivery may be tastier but does not save time at all and for sure doesn't save a dime for my pocketbook.

Feel disappointed that this all worked out because was hoping to get a blog post out of it.

Two hours and thirty five minutes after order was placed.

58 minutes after I was told order was delivered to someone else.

45 minutes after I finished throwing white rice and spicy Chinese tofu down my gullet.

My cell phone rings.

Where are you?

Who is this?

Delivery. I'm in the lobby.

Complaint Lessons Learned:

1. Sometimes dumpling delivery takes longer than a drive to upstate New York. And back.

2. Chatbots may not be able to twirl zucchini but they can still give you a refund. Use key words.

3. If you order food and it's two and a half hours late, it will be freezing and inedible.

3. If something is super late, it doesn't mean it's not coming at all.