It Would Just Be in Poor Taste

Hi I would like to place an order for delivery.

Go ahead.

Three hot and sour, eight won ton.

Shrimp or pork?

Shrimp.  Then I'd like two chicken with crispy spinach, two General Tao, two spare ribs one eggpla-

Eggplant spicy or not spicy?

Well, spicy, but not like too spicy. We want flavour but not to burn my mouth. Know what I mean?

Yes yes.  You like peanut butter dumplings?

Oh good idea.  Can I ask you to hang on a sec. DO WE WANT DUMPLINGS? NO, THE ONES IN PEANUT BUTTER.  I THINK THEY'RE CALLED HUNAN  Sorry I'll be right back.  GUYS! HELLO? DUMPLINGS? ASK THEM IF THEY WANT DUMPLINGS.  THE GUY IS WAITING ON THE PHONE.  UM OK FINE.  How many in an order?

Six dumplings in an order. Very good peanut butter dumplings.

Ok I have NO CLUE where anyone is so I'll just decide.  Sure we'll take the dumplings.  Two dumplings.

How many rice?

Six rice.

Let me repeat your order. Three hot and sour. Eight shrimp won ton. Two crispy spinach chicken, two General Tao, two pork spare ribs, one eggplant not spicy. Two Hunan dumpling. Six rice.

Sounds great.  When will you be here?

30-45 minutes.  I have one more question please.  Is this for a shiva?

Excuse me?

I have to ask you.  Is this food for a shiva?

Oy g-d forbid.  What kind of question is that?

I'm sorry ma'am but I need to know.  We never send fortune cookies to a shiva.