My Mom loved Kennedy and considered Jackie O a personal friend. And that John-John! She used to say. The look on his face!
That didn't end well. We all know that John-John also died tragically way too young, and poor Carolyn really didn't-
Oh my gosh, Amy, How Depressing Can You Be. Dead President, Dead Son of President and your mother in one fell swoop. Don't you have a cousin or something that has a birthday today?
Actually, I do. Thank you so much for asking.
Today is my cousin Henry the Actor's birthday. He lives in New York City.
Really? Have I seen him in anything?
That is a very stupid question (and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings).
Today's Complaint is about you.
Reasons Why This is a Stupid Question (and whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question has not yet walked a mile in my shoes)
1. I have no idea what you have and haven't seen. How would I know if you have seen my cousin?
2. There is a huge theatre industry in New York City. All these shows are populated with working actors. Obviously, you don't know the names of all the actors in all the shows in all the theatres so there is no possible way you would know my cousin by name even if you had given his show a standing ovation even moments before.
3. Some people think that the only way to be a successful actor is either to be wildly famous or to be one of the twelve actors constantly on rotation through Law and Order re-runs. I disagree. I think the way to be successful actor is to act.
The way to be an unsuccessful actor is to have dreams of being an actor but actually become an accountant. (Now that's depressing).
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENRY AND MANY MORE
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