How to Complain Using Social Media, Fan Mail and a Quick Story About Chocolate Cake

A million years ago my mother went to visit our across the street neighbor and saw an iced chocolate cake on the sideboard.

Company tonight?

No.  Just my husband and kids.

(My mother incredulous:) You baked a chocolate cake just for your family?

(Neighbor incredulous:) If I'm not going to bake for my family, then who am I going to bake for?

Beautifully put.

I bring this up, because, ladies and gentlemen, we have received some fan mail.

Is the fan mail from a personal friend of mine?

Yes.

If I'm not going to get fan mail from my friends, then who the heck am I going to get fan mail from?

The mail is a summary of a social media complaint success story that we helped inspire.

(This is where I stop writing, and I paste in the letter for you. Unedited except for the links.)

My friend Amy has been teaching me the art of complaining efficiently. And today, it got me a $700 refund in one day.

I had a horrible problem at the airport yesterday: due to a change on my outgoing flight, a customer service voided my return ticket. I was stranded at the airport with no way to get home. I tried to apply my best complaining techniques, but they were having none of it. I found myself needing to buy a full price one-way ticket to get home, which I did.

This morning, I wrote it all down, in detail. And then I did what I do best, I posted it to Facebook. On my wall, publicly, AND on the airline's Facebook wall. I got the copy-and-pasted standard response from the social media handler. But after the post got reposted a few times and they were getting a lot of 'hits' on my post, the handler promised to pass this along to the right person in customer service.

By 4 pm, I had been refunded my ticket. They didn't offer much in way of extra compensation, a discount on a future flight which I will not be taking. But it worked. Had I waited for my email complaint to work it's way to the standard 15-business day process on their website, I'm not sure it would have been as efficient. However, a well worded, detailed account of the situation, posted to the right social media outlet, and voila: complaint received and resolved.

Thank you Complaint Department for teaching me the art of efficient complaining.

(end of pasted fan mail, now it's going to be me writing again:)

I love a good, effective complaint story. Especially one where you were successful in getting your money back (and a token discount on top).

Thanks for sharing.

I guess this means I owe you a chocolate cake.

Not Sponsored by the Safety Patrol

When my kids were small, I didn't baby proof.  I thought it was a lot safer to teach them how to go up and down the stairs safely instead of blocking their access to the stairs.

Now that they are a little older, I apply the same philosophy to a different skill set.  I would rather they learn how to do things safely than prevent them from doing things at all.  You know that I let them have facebook accounts.  I let them watch movies.  I let them talk to strangers.

HUH? Talk to strangers?

Yes.  I think talking to strangers can be rewarding when done safely.  Hell, I met my husband in a bar.

My kids are not allowed to get into anyone's car without calling me first.  They are not allowed to go to anyone's house without calling me first.

But are they allowed to chat up complete strangers on the bus? Sure.

Let's watch and see what happened Tuesday morning on the 63.

12 year old B took the bus to school.

Saw a guy wearing a hat with the Google logo.

Asked the guy where he got it.  Guy said he works for Google.  He develops the software for the safe-browsing list.

B asked him for his autograph.

Google guy pulled out his business card.  B said cool, but can you sign it.  Google guy said he's never given his autograph before but sure.

As B was leaving the bus, Google guy says Hey Kid, and hands him a red Google pen.

This made B's day.  He was so excited and happy that he got to meet an actual computer programmer from actual Google.

Would he have had the courage and the confidence to approach this guy had he not been casually chatting with people for years? Absolutely not.

Did he handle it safely? Yes.  He was in a public place, he was with his friends, and he didn't give the guy any personal information.

He was empowered by his ability to go out into the world and meet an interesting person.

I am so proud.

So what's the complaint?

My complaint is that people think they are protecting their children from risk by not allowing them to do things like go down the stairs, take the bus, talk to strangers.

In my opinion it's a risk either way.

If you let your children have some freedom, you are taking the risk that they may fall down the stairs.

If you don't teach them how to negotiate the universe on their own I think you are taking several risks: that when they finally do have some freedom they won't know how to use it wisely and one very late night in 2017 you will see them on Girls Gone Wild, that they will constantly look to you for protection and will be afraid of the world; or that they will lead a boring life never meeting anyone who hasn't been hand-picked, vetted and sanitized by HQ.

To me, the choice is clear.

57 Minutes I'll Never See Again

Saturday afternoon. Department store.  

Two dresses. Cashier off her game.  Did not offer me the opportunity to save 15% by opening a store card. Paid cash and gift card.

Children's department cashier a little smarter.  Offered me the 15%.  But - said it was too late to get 15% on purchases I'd made earlier that day.  Paid with my own credit card.

Third cashier (hey, don't look at me like that, everything was on sale) was persistent.  

Sure, she said, I could get 15% off my spring status bag and satin clutch very important and crucial items from her department and 15% off the women's and children's department.

I bit.

Manually returned all items from first purchase.  Took a gift card out of her drawer and put the total gift card amount back on the gift card.  Refunded the rest of the purchase.

Manually charged each item to new 15% off card.

People behind me in line thrilled.

Manually returned all items from second purchase.

I am making a lot of friends.

Charged total to new 15% card - one item at a time.

Card rejected. 

Rejected? You just sold it to me.

She calls Customer Service.

I am asked to verify my identity.

The identity that I just gave them during this very same transaction.  The identity that is still on a piece of paper in front of the cashier.

I gently point out that they rejected my card less than twelve minutes after approving it.

Asked me for my mother's maiden name.

Choose a Moral for This Story:  

1. You can save money with an in-store credit card, but you won't win a popularity contest

2.  No amount of money saved is worth waiting an hour for endless manual transactions

3. Customer service reps do not always make sense

4. Is it time to buy your spring status bag already?

Then Again, Golda Meir Never Met Justin Bieber

My Dad used to tell me about a Golda Meir quote where she said something like we can forgive the Arabs anything, but we can't forgive them for turning our sons into killers.

I know what she meant.

I can forgive Justin Bieber his youtube video.

I can forgive him for his music, his lyrics and associated fame.

I can forgive him for my ten year old boy's endless use of my blow dryer.

Hell, I can forgive him for creating a nail polish, marketing the nail polish to six year old girls, and naming the colors after his hit songs.

But Justin - making the nail polish so unbelievably hard to remove?

I really can't forgive you for that one.

Funeral Faux Pas (with special thanks to N who gives me all the best ideas)

Funeral today.  Work related.  Mid-range tragic.

Look across the aisle.  Someone brought her Starbucks.  Into the funeral home.  To enjoy, during the service.  I love my venti soy latte with sugar free hazelnut as much as the next starlet, but really - could you not have left it in the car?

Funeral this summer.  Complete Stranger sitting next to me missed the part about turning off your cell phone.  Esteemed suburban rabbi sitting in front of us.  Leans back - says to Complete Stranger - that's why I left my phone in the car.  Ouch.

Final story.  Jews wash hands when leaving a funeral.  Was in line for the spout.  Old woman literally shoves me out of the way to jump the queue.  The washing hands queue at a funeral.  I'd hate to see how she behaves at Starbucks.

Three Complaints About New Year's Resolutions

1. We use resolutions as an Excuse to beat ourselves to a pulp.

If only I could put kale in my coffee, then I can really wake myself up and get my nutrients, too!

I should start making my own laundry detergent, composting and reading Tolstoy. In its original.

Put down that oh-so-helpful magazine and get some fresh air.

There are some lovely resolutions you can make to treat yourself better, and still improve your life.

2010 my resolution was to only knit with high quality yarn.  Sure, I still reach for a ball of acrylic every now and then, but for the most part, I respect my work enough to use only the best materials.

(Ironically, the girlfriend who gave me that resolution now owns a high-end wool shop.  I sort of wonder if there was some prescient guerilla marketing involved...)

Choose a resolution that makes you happy.  Not one that fills your heart with dread.

2.  We give up our resolutions too easily.


A million years ago, I took a project management workshop where we learned how to do a brainstorming exercise using post-it notes.  And one of the navy blue suited, 90s Rachel haircut participants actually raised her hand to ask what we should do if we didn't have yellow post-it notes.  Can we use pink? Would store brand be okay?

Lady, it was just a suggestion.

Same thing with the resolution deadline.  The January to December thing - just a suggestion.

If you find yourself in February still not having put your spices in alphabetical order or crunching your abs, you can start now. You don't have to wait till the clock winds its way back to Jan 1.

 3. We are quick to suggest resolutions for Everyone else.


Much as we love looking in the mirror and coming up with ways to improve ourselves, we love even more looking at each other and offering suggestions of ways other people can improve.

It is amazing how many people have offered me suggestions for New Years' resolutions over the past two weeks.  More housework.  Less yarn.  Shorter haircut.

I would never do that to you.

Well, if you insist, there is one teeny-tiny way in which you can improve.

I appreciate deeply that you read this blog.

To fully enjoy the experience, you can comment.  You don't have to say a lot, but if you threw me the occasional one-liner I would be forever grateful.  Anonymous is fine.

Commenting on the blog.  A New Year's Resolution from me to you.