Timing Part One

Out for white linen napkin dinner with one of my Fave people.

Fave wants the composed salad but one of the items in the composition is grapefruit. (She has an aversion to grapefruit and a general dislike for all things citrus.)

Fave asks waiter if can substitute something else for the grapefruit.

Waiter says No.

Fave asks waiter if can remove grapefruit from the plate so doesn't have to deal with leaky citrus juices, also smell turns her off and does not want to have to look at pink fleshy fruit.

Waiter says No.

(Hmmmm. I'm wondering if we were Wall Street Men or Expense Account Men, or anything else man-oriented, we might receive a different response.)

Fave shrugs and orders composed salad anyway. I ask if she wants me to get involved. She says no.

As evening wears on, can't help but notice people on my left and on my right eating things that were not on the menu. Also can't help but notice the wide variety of fruits and vegetables in dishes all over the restaurant so why was Waiter so committed to grapefruit. It seems like he could have asked the kitchen to cut a tomato in four considering dinner is costing more than my first car.

Rest of dinner is delightful and as far as I know, grapefruit incident is forgotten.

Except.

About six weeks later, I'm out with Fave and she tells me that she is still thinking about the grapefruit and why it had to appear on her plate. There were all kinds of vegetables on the menu, why couldn't the Waiter ask the kitchen to cut a tomato in four instead especially since dinner cost more than her first apartment.

Is it too late to do anything about it? She asks.

Issues to Consider:
1. On the one hand it's never too late to complain effectively, on the other hand it is kind of too late to complain about a salad that you ordered six weeks earlier.

2. If this is really bothering you, and you still have your receipt, you can write to the restaurant saying  that this has been on your mind for a while, and that you know you should have spoken up at the time, but you were shy/embarrassed/unclear on what to say, and now you would like to have the salad taken off your bill. I think it's a long shot, but I guess you won't know unless you try.

3. If you go back to the restaurant, you can raise your concern at the beginning of the meal with something like: Hey, the other day when I was here, we ordered the blah blah salad and I wanted it without grapefruit. Can you do that for me this time?

4. If you go back to the restaurant and it's very obvious who the manager is, you can say something to her/him like: Thank you so much the service was fantastic this time. I thought you might want to know that last time we were here, we wanted our composed salad no grapefruit and the Waiter gave us a really hard time. It was so unlike the service we normally receive here. (Although this will not change the outcome for you or your composed, it may bring this matter to the manager's attention for the future.)

Listen to me. 
This is why you need to speak up and ask for a correction when something happens. Because if you don't, the incident can grow and grow in your mind until quartered grapefruit turns into a metaphor for your nasty third grade gym teacher and/or your smelly first boss or anything that has ever gone wrong in your life. Speaking up might work, it might not work but at least you will have tried your best and you can move on.

Also.
This issue is covered in extensive detail in Chapter 8 of my new book: "How to Report a Rhyming Physician or Other Health-Care Professional: Consider Your Timing". (Spoiler alert: the rhyming physician does not order grapefruit.)