Another Reason Not To Change Your Name When You Get Married

N's mother very sadly passed away in 2004.

Dying wish was grass-only grave.

There will be no flowers growing out of my head, Mom of N declared. It gives me the creeps.

Several hundred rainy Sundays later, N is at cemetery visiting multiple deceased relatives.

Hey are those pansies on Mom's head?

Turns out there were, indeed, flowers in full bloom on the heretofore grass-only grave.

Waits till business hours.

Calls cemetery.

There seems to be a problem.

(Explains).

Cemetery says: Aren't you Mrs. Cohen?

Yes.

Well we put the pansies on Mrs. Cohen's grave.

No you didn't. You put them on Mrs. Goldberg's grave.

You are Mrs. Cohen. We put them on your mother's grave.

I changed my name when I got married. I am Mrs. Cohen. My mother in law, Mrs. Cohen, g-d rest her soul, wanted flowers on her grave. You put the flowers on Mrs. Goldberg's grave.

Mrs. Goldberg didn't want flowers?

No. My mother, Mrs. Goldberg of blessed memory, wanted a grass-only resting place.

Mrs. Cohen?

Yes that's me. (Finally we are getting some where.)

We have just changed our computer system.  With the new  computer, you are the daughter of Mrs. Cohen.  There is no way on the new screen to have a Mrs. Cohen as the daughter of a Mrs. Goldberg.  Hey, that must be how your mother, blessed for all eternity, ended up with flowers in the first place.

Now that we have figured it out, can we update the screens.

I am sorry but that will be impossible.  I have to check with my boss before I make any changes in the system.  You understand, no doubt, that I answer to a higher authority.

Don't we all.