Monday, 28 December 2015

Key Chain of Events

1. Knitting Weekend
Amy you can't leave your house keys clipped to your car keys.
You are Asking For Trouble.
This is a Huge Security Risk.
Now that we have that straightened out, let's put away our lobby knitting, take out our free drink coupons and get this party started.

2. Found
Here is a bag of my mother-may-she rest-in-peace's old jewellery. And oh look a keychain that looks kind of sleek.
Totally perfect.
Unclip housekeys and put on old/new keychain.

3. Downtown
Going out for Korean food at swanky downtown location with Professor BFF and can't be late because time is ticking when you are leading a robotics lab and researching computer vision.
Plan to take Metro (Montreal for subway) so pack very small purse.

4. Post Office
First drive daughter to school and stop at Post Office to mail hand-knit hat to my Literary Agent. Decline insurance or tracking on package because What Could Possibly Go Wrong.

5. Home
Stop at home to pee and drop off car.
No house keys.
Empty bag.
Still no house keys.
Call Post Office.
No but have you tried our Lost and Found.
Not at Lost and Found or any other morning errand locations.
Give up and drive downtown.
(Peed at Tim Horton's thank you for caring.)

6. Office
Go to Husband's office to pick up his house keys so I can get back into house.

7. Oh No
Have absolutely no explanation for where keys could have gone except for one very glaring possibility.
When squishing hand knit hat into small purse, keychain with house keys must have gotten caught in hat.
Oh, the humiliation.

8. Humiliation
Dear Agent (that I am trying to impress),
It has come to my attention that perhaps my house keys were entangled in the hat I sent you. So please accept my house as your Christmas gift.
Can you please, please, PLEASE let me know if the keys do indeed show up?
With respect, admiration and gratitude,
I remain,
Yours sincerely,

9. Found
Found house keys in the back of my car. Clipped them back to car keys.

Possible Literary Themes
  1. Every thing comes full circle
  2. All is well that ends well
  3. Computer vision researchers know great lunch places (And dinner too - click here to read what happened last time we went out to eat.)
  4. Don't believe everything you hear on knitting weekend
  5. If you have the right Agent she will rejoice in all your crazy capers along with you and your characters

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