Friday, 25 March 2011
Thursday, 24 March 2011
I'm Pretty Sure You Were There
Remember a few years ago, we were in Jerry's apartment? I think it was a Tuesday night? Maybe 9ish? And George was there? He had just been dumped.
He was freaking out because the woman who broke up with him - her name escapes me - said - "It's not you, it's me".
"Don't give ME 'It's not you, it's me!'" George railed, "I INVENTED 'It's not you, it's me." Then Kramer came over, stole some food and we all went to the diner. Is this ringing a bell?
Well, you know how you've been trying to become a Follower of this blog, and it hasn't been working?
You thought maybe you were doing something wrong?
As it turns out, it's not you, it's me.
(Will let you know when I fix the problem).
He was freaking out because the woman who broke up with him - her name escapes me - said - "It's not you, it's me".
"Don't give ME 'It's not you, it's me!'" George railed, "I INVENTED 'It's not you, it's me." Then Kramer came over, stole some food and we all went to the diner. Is this ringing a bell?
Well, you know how you've been trying to become a Follower of this blog, and it hasn't been working?
You thought maybe you were doing something wrong?
As it turns out, it's not you, it's me.
(Will let you know when I fix the problem).
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
Early Morning FAQs
Q: Is there a way to follow your blog without having to keep checking it?
A: Yes. When you are finished reading this sentence, continue to glance toward your right. You will see a box that says "Follow by email". Enter your e-mail address. Click the submit button. You will then receive blog updates by e-mail.
Q: Is that the same as becoming a "follower" of your blog?
A: No. If you follow by e-mail, you will get the latest postings by e-mail. If you become a "follower" of the blog a few things happen: first of all, anyone who reads your blog or who checks out your profile will know that you follow this blog and maybe they will follow too. Second, people reading the blog might be curious who else is reading it or who the other "followers" are. Third, as we continue to move forward in our relationship, some followers may decide to comment on a posting and other followers may reply, and maybe we will all get to know each other. Finally, from what I hear, it is good for me to have "followers" because it means you are all reading on a regular basis. Please - follow me.
Q: How can I comment on your blog?
A: At the end of each posting there is an opportunity to post your comments. You can type your comments into the box and click post. I am very interested in what you have to say. Please comment.
Q: I have an important job and know lots of important people. I want to follow you but I don't want anyone to know who I am. Help?
A: This is a very common problem. Many of us are super-important. Thankfully, blogspot is one step ahead of us and has two possible solutions: You can follow me anonymously. Or use a fake name. I promise I won't tell anyone.
Q: You are funny. How do I share your posting with my facebook friends?
A: At the bottom of each post there are little squares. If you look closely, there are different icons. One is for facebook. If you click on it, you will be able to post a link to this blog on your facebook page. You can add a message, like "check this out - LOL".
Q: Is it the same think for Twitter or LinkedIN?
A: Yes, they each have icons at the bottom of the posting too. Although I'm thinking that if you have a Twitter account you are probably not reading these FAQs. Unless you are currently in a battle with the City. You know who you are.
Q: I'm confused. How does this relate to knitting?
A: I am now laughing at my own joke. I will let you in on it: For years, I have been using FAQs to communicate with my knitting buddies. So, this time I used FAQs but not for knitting. I'm thinking the knitters reading this will be confused. Get it? Because it's FAQs but not knitting FAQs? Funny, huh?
A: Yes. When you are finished reading this sentence, continue to glance toward your right. You will see a box that says "Follow by email". Enter your e-mail address. Click the submit button. You will then receive blog updates by e-mail.
Q: Is that the same as becoming a "follower" of your blog?
A: No. If you follow by e-mail, you will get the latest postings by e-mail. If you become a "follower" of the blog a few things happen: first of all, anyone who reads your blog or who checks out your profile will know that you follow this blog and maybe they will follow too. Second, people reading the blog might be curious who else is reading it or who the other "followers" are. Third, as we continue to move forward in our relationship, some followers may decide to comment on a posting and other followers may reply, and maybe we will all get to know each other. Finally, from what I hear, it is good for me to have "followers" because it means you are all reading on a regular basis. Please - follow me.
Q: How can I comment on your blog?
A: At the end of each posting there is an opportunity to post your comments. You can type your comments into the box and click post. I am very interested in what you have to say. Please comment.
Q: I have an important job and know lots of important people. I want to follow you but I don't want anyone to know who I am. Help?
A: This is a very common problem. Many of us are super-important. Thankfully, blogspot is one step ahead of us and has two possible solutions: You can follow me anonymously. Or use a fake name. I promise I won't tell anyone.
Q: You are funny. How do I share your posting with my facebook friends?
A: At the bottom of each post there are little squares. If you look closely, there are different icons. One is for facebook. If you click on it, you will be able to post a link to this blog on your facebook page. You can add a message, like "check this out - LOL".
Q: Is it the same think for Twitter or LinkedIN?
A: Yes, they each have icons at the bottom of the posting too. Although I'm thinking that if you have a Twitter account you are probably not reading these FAQs. Unless you are currently in a battle with the City. You know who you are.
Q: I'm confused. How does this relate to knitting?
A: I am now laughing at my own joke. I will let you in on it: For years, I have been using FAQs to communicate with my knitting buddies. So, this time I used FAQs but not for knitting. I'm thinking the knitters reading this will be confused. Get it? Because it's FAQs but not knitting FAQs? Funny, huh?
Thursday, 17 March 2011
I Practically Went to a Spinning Class
My friend S. called me today for advice about her gym. You may be wondering -- as I was-- why in a million years any one would call me, of all people, to ask a question even tangentially related to any physical activity of any sort.
Stay with me, it'll make sense in a second.
She is leaving her gym after almost 20 years, and moving to a new gym closer to her house, her kids' school, her grocery store, her bank, and probably even her pediatrician, her tailor and her dog groomer's.
But when she called the gym to tell them she was leaving, they said that she had to give 30 days notice AND that the notice had to be given on the first of the month. So that would mean that today's notice was only valid as of April 1st, and that she would therefore have to pay them for the entire month of April. And she is supposed to start the new gym as of April 1st. She doesn't want to get stuck paying for both gyms in the same month. Even for someone as physically fit as S., that would be a bit much.
So this is the plan I gave her:
1. Call the gym and ask for a copy of the contract she signed when she originally joined.
2. Check if the contract says anything about 30 days and first of the month.
3. If it does, and she signed it, then she doesn't have much of a choice other than to honor her commitment to this gym, and ask the new gym if she can delay her membership by a month. Even in this scenario, I would send a formal letter to the gym notifying them of the membership cancellation and the last date of payment.
4. If the contract doesn't say anything about the 30 days or the first of the month, then send them a formal letter terminating her membership at the gym effective immediately.
5. If it says 30 days notice but not first of the month, then assume that she can give formal notice today, and assume that last day of payment is 30 days from now (pro-rating the days in April).
6. Do not call them to discuss this. All discussion should be in writing, with a confirmation of receipt either by sending a fax, email or registered letter. Come to think of it, I don't think I mentioned this point - S., I hope you are reading this...
7. Notify her credit card when the last payment is going through. If the gym tries to charge her credit card after she has terminated her contract, she can dispute the charge and send a copy of her correspondence to the credit card company as proof.
8. Keep copies of all letters and the contract with both gyms. She may need them later.
So with my complaint department skills, I helped S. figure out how to handle her potentially overlapping gym memberships.
Do you think this counts as a workout?
Stay with me, it'll make sense in a second.
She is leaving her gym after almost 20 years, and moving to a new gym closer to her house, her kids' school, her grocery store, her bank, and probably even her pediatrician, her tailor and her dog groomer's.
But when she called the gym to tell them she was leaving, they said that she had to give 30 days notice AND that the notice had to be given on the first of the month. So that would mean that today's notice was only valid as of April 1st, and that she would therefore have to pay them for the entire month of April. And she is supposed to start the new gym as of April 1st. She doesn't want to get stuck paying for both gyms in the same month. Even for someone as physically fit as S., that would be a bit much.
So this is the plan I gave her:
1. Call the gym and ask for a copy of the contract she signed when she originally joined.
2. Check if the contract says anything about 30 days and first of the month.
3. If it does, and she signed it, then she doesn't have much of a choice other than to honor her commitment to this gym, and ask the new gym if she can delay her membership by a month. Even in this scenario, I would send a formal letter to the gym notifying them of the membership cancellation and the last date of payment.
4. If the contract doesn't say anything about the 30 days or the first of the month, then send them a formal letter terminating her membership at the gym effective immediately.
5. If it says 30 days notice but not first of the month, then assume that she can give formal notice today, and assume that last day of payment is 30 days from now (pro-rating the days in April).
6. Do not call them to discuss this. All discussion should be in writing, with a confirmation of receipt either by sending a fax, email or registered letter. Come to think of it, I don't think I mentioned this point - S., I hope you are reading this...
7. Notify her credit card when the last payment is going through. If the gym tries to charge her credit card after she has terminated her contract, she can dispute the charge and send a copy of her correspondence to the credit card company as proof.
8. Keep copies of all letters and the contract with both gyms. She may need them later.
So with my complaint department skills, I helped S. figure out how to handle her potentially overlapping gym memberships.
Do you think this counts as a workout?
Sunday, 13 March 2011
High Class Complaints
"My masseuse is always seven minutes late. Doesn't she realize my reflexologist will be here any minute?"; or "Now that John Galliano's out of the picture, I'm totally screwed. Who the hell is going to dress me for Kate's wedding?"
These are high class complaints.
But my cousin M uses the expression high class complaints to describe any complaint that is a nice problem to have. Complaints that we know we really shouldn't be making because just by virtue of the fact that we have the luxury of making them - they aren't real complaints.
Like if your shellac manicure is supposed to last two weeks, and one of the nails pops off, just as you are leaving to a luxury villa in the West Indies. You are lucky to have shellac, lucky to be on vacation, lucky to be in the West Indies, who cares if you are one nail polish short of a full manicure? On the other hand, it is a legitimate complaint. The nails are supposed to have a two week guarantee, and if the nail comes off before the two weeks are up - especially if you are on your way to the airport and can't have them fixed - it can be very annoying.
Not that I would ever complain about anything like that.
How about you? Any High Class complaints to share?
These are high class complaints.
But my cousin M uses the expression high class complaints to describe any complaint that is a nice problem to have. Complaints that we know we really shouldn't be making because just by virtue of the fact that we have the luxury of making them - they aren't real complaints.
Like if your shellac manicure is supposed to last two weeks, and one of the nails pops off, just as you are leaving to a luxury villa in the West Indies. You are lucky to have shellac, lucky to be on vacation, lucky to be in the West Indies, who cares if you are one nail polish short of a full manicure? On the other hand, it is a legitimate complaint. The nails are supposed to have a two week guarantee, and if the nail comes off before the two weeks are up - especially if you are on your way to the airport and can't have them fixed - it can be very annoying.
Not that I would ever complain about anything like that.
How about you? Any High Class complaints to share?
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