Civil Servant Job Security

(Click here to read yesterday's post so that this story makes sense)

Birth certificate, eligibility document, daughter T and I go to her new school for tour and registration.

Emerge two hours later with lots of information, excitement and long list of errands to complete.

Take a wrong turn and accidentally end up at Amy Schumer's new movie.

Turn phones off.

Emerge two hours later feeling pretty. 

Turn phones back on and have multiple messages, an insta DM  and a snapchat all from son G.

He is looking for his birth certificate.

(That's hilarious. He read my blog.)

He also needs his citizenship.

(Oh. Not joking. And clearly hasn't read it.)

He is finna (fixing to) get his SIN number (like SSN but Canadian) which he had and lost. He went to get another copy of his SIN number and the government office people said he needs his birth certificate and his citizenship even though he already registered for a SIN and it is in the government office computer. 

He came back home to get his birth certificate and citizenship and couldn't find them. I didn't answer my phone because I was laughing my head off in a suburban movieplex  in an important meeting. His stress did not de-escalate.

Potential new job calls and tells him they need his SIN by 4pm. Government office closes at 4pm. It is now 3:17.

Again, stress level not shrinking as clock ticks.

Luckily I know exactly where the documents are because I had them in my hand yesterday.

I tell him to look in gray folder on my desk.

He says it's not there.

I tell him to look in gray folder in my drawer.

He says it's not there.

G says. I just found a gray folder. The only thing in it is T's birth certificate.

That can't be possible. T's birth certificate, second copy and third extra copy are all in folder with me.

(If there's a fourth copy I don't want to know about it now).

I suggest FaceTime.

He hangs up.

Calls his girlfriend.

She says. No problem. I read your mother's blog. It says your documents are in a pink folder.

Oh hey G says. Here is my birth certificate. In a purple folder. Don't believe the blog. Mom makes everything up.

Lessons Learned:

1. You wonder why there are such long lines at government offices. Now you know.

2. Rules of Creative Non-Fiction include merging characters, timelines and locations but substituting pink for purple could actually cause a problem.

3. Turning off your phone in movies not only prevents disturbing your neighbours but actually prevents you from being disturbed as well.

Why I Love Tim Horton's

I have three kids.

All of whom have birth certificates. (Or so you would think.)

Youngest daughter T is changing schools.

Had to be accepted academically.

Check.

Had to be accepted on athletic side.

Check.

Last step.

Have to make registration appointment.

Check.

Actual last step.

Have to show up to registration appointment with birth certificate and eligibility (Quebec thing).

Go to desk. Get out folder labelled Complaints Unresolved Bayshore Important Documents.

There is my birth certificate. Marriage document. Citizenship for G who was born in US. Birth certificate for B. Birth certificate for G.

Lovely but not helpful.

Clean desk using certified archeological tools and hazmat suit. Find nothing.

Go through 37 tote bags stuffed under desk the rest of the neatly labelled folders. Nothing.

Look at work.

Nope.

Give up.

Take out pen and write to do list including having to call new school and switch registration appointment because will have to re-order copy of birth certificate, which I already had to do due to losing it once before and having learned nothing have stored both copies together in file which is now missing.

Not looking forward to calling the school.

What do we do when we have a to do list ripe with items we would like to avoid?

Reach into bottom right hand filing cabinet to get Tim Horton's pod from Costco sized pod box. By the time I walk over to office kitchen, heat water, make coffee, wait till it cools enough to drink, I'll be able to call the sch- Wait, what's in that flamingo pink folder leaning against and marginally slipping under
the Tim Horton's Costco pod box?

Oh.

Here it is.

First birth certificate. Copy of birth certificate. Birth certificate. Eligibility.

Morals of the Story:
1. Tim Horton's Costco pods may be cheaper than buying in-store but the value they deliver is priceless
2. To do lists are valuable but not necessarily in the ways you would think
3. Keurig coffee makers may be bad for the environment but sometimes they can save your ass