Canadians on Phones Not Drinking Coffee

Rainy gray weather with expectations of more snow cause thoughts to turn to piles of hot coffee.

(This may because am doing a two week detox with no access to coffee.)

Thoughts also turn to summer vacation and no time like the present to nail down annual beach vacation which includes a ferry reservation and they sell coffee on the boat.

Credit card declined.

Try again, maybe mistyped or forgot to check I ACCEPT box.

Declined.

Sip mint tea. Shed tear.

Try again, use Second Credit Card.

Declined.

Realize this may have happened before, tracing to Canadian Postal Codes which have letters in them and therefore are not recognized by Zip Code box.

Glance longingly at Travel Mug and call Customer Service.

Blah blah blah ferry reservation, blah blah declined, blah blah Canadian.

Oh, Hon. Customer Service says. I don't have access to those reservations yet. I will only have them on my computer as of January 30th. Till then, you can only book online.

But I can't book online. I have free healthcare.

Wish I can help ya. Maybe try typing in your Zip without the lettahs (best part of calling Massachussetts).

Try without lettahs.

No.

Sip mint tea again. Nine more days.

Try several more things that don't work.

Call Customer Service back.

Someone else answers the phone.

Blah blah blah ferry reservation blah blah declined blah blah Canadian. Is there a way around this?

Yeah, sure Hon. I'm going to sell you a Gift Cahd, and then you're going to use the Gift Cahd to pay for the reservation. How much is your reservation?

It disappeared while I was clicking around looking for your phone numbah, I mean, number. Should I call you back?

I'll hold while you find it.

Find it, type it in, get desired reservation, pay using Gift Cahd. Check, check, check.

Thank you to Customer Service Person Two for giving me excellent Customer Service.

Maybe if I call a third time someone will pour me a coffee.

Complaint Lessons Learned:

1. Sometimes Customer Service people actually want to give excellent customer service.
2. If you don't get what you want, you can call back and try again. Chances are you will get someone else who wants to help you.
3. If you are looking online for a two week detox, try to find one that's sponsored by someone who knows what they're doing.

Don't Judge a Backpack by its Cover

Party at our place and kids are welcome to invite a few friends.

Several guests show up ages 14-16.

No one appears outwardly sketchy but then again I have a wide berth dating back to my time at the Thunderdome (1986-88).

But actually there is that one girl wearing a full backpack in the house.

Are you sure it's not a purse.

Um yes. She's also carrying a purse, more of a fanny pack if you must know. That is definitely a matching backpack and it is not coming off.

Chips, soda, pizza, veg platter.

Backpack still on.

Possible theories:

1. She is smuggling diamonds and signed a blood oath with the big boss not to let the backpack out of her sight.
2. There is alcohol stashed in the backpack and she doesn't want the adults to see it and take it away.
3. There is alcohol stashed in the backpack and she doesn't want the adults anyone else to drink it.
4. There are drugs stashed in the backpack and she's afraid that one of our dogs has a powerful snout. (We don't have dogs so this might be the least likely theory.)

Ice cream, cake, fruit kabobs served.

Backpack still on.

Do you think we should say something?

Like what. I tried Can I Take Your Coat and it didn't work. Neither did Take Your Backpack Off and Stay Awhile.

Blah blah blah with other guests and notice crowd is gathering around Backpack girl on the staircase.

Slowly back up to where I can fully spy casually see what's up.

She is unzipping the backpack.

Other kids are leaning in.

Is that a diamond glinting in her hand? Was that the winning theory?

No. 

The light is reflecting off the shiny gold wrapping paper. 

What the?

Backpack is pulling wrapped gifts out of the, er, backpack and handing them to the other guests ages 14-16. 

A snow globe.

Calendar.

Toblerone.

Huh. Guess things have changed since the Thunderdome.

Lessons Learned

1. Don't judge a book by it's cover unless it's my book cover which I love so feel free to judge me by it and don't judge a Backpack when you don't know what's inside it.
2. On the other hand Backpack might have a false bottom to hide the diamonds.
3. Like I said, Don't Judge.

Pineapple Fanta Was My Favourite

Have a Google Alert set to my name. Usually this means alerts about someone named Amy who caught a large Bass in a Southern state.

(This information will become relevant in a sec. )

Land in Atlanta and first stop is diner breakfast for omelettes and spuds for farm to table poached eggs and slices of organic hydroponic free trade tomato.

Diner packed which means we chose well and people not necessarily being served in the order in which their call was received in order of arrival.

Servers wearing t-shirts that say on the back "Relax...It's Just Eggs."

How Perfect Is That.

Day Three in Atlanta give talk about how to deal with complaints. Mention in talk that not every complaint resolution has to be complicated and that sometimes we need to "Relax...It's Just Eggs."

Day Four in Atlanta more fun was had as an example go to World of Coke and drink all kinds of sugary drinks including an Asian soda that tastes like veggies very fresh glasses of water.

Ok, Amy, so are people in Atlanta named Amy? Are they catching fish?

Probably and probably but didn't meet any of either.

Did the World of Coke have a fish flavour?

Mercifully no.

So where are we going here?

(Trust me.)

Home a few weeks when Google Alert blinks with Amy Fish and guess what. It's me.

Turns out someone at the talk was writing a story and I had no idea.

Click here to read it and see the photo of me in uniform.

Lessons Learned:
1. Be careful what you say in a talk because there might be someone quoting you and you don't even realize it.
2. Yes I was fishing in a Southern state but not in the traditional sense of the word.