I Thought Rosa Parks Took Care Of This In 1955

Remember Miranda?

She's the one who let her kids go swimming without an adult even though they were underage.

Have no idea what we're talking about?

Click here to download the book so you can follow along.

Anyway Miranda's children are now boys. (Joined the Witness Protection program)

Older boy takes the bus to school.

Comes home one day and says

Strange Lady keeps talking to me on the bus.

Same people on bus every day?

Yes. Oddly enough. Live in mid size city and some buses come infrequently so people riding same route get to know each other.

Strange Lady insisting I give up my seat. There are a million other empty seats on bus. Strange Lady  says kids do not deserve to be seated on the bus.

Miranda doesn't like this at all. Plus after starring in a book about complaining effectively she feels compelled to - uh - complain effectively.

Calls 1-800-generic bus company phone number.

Bus Guy listens to her complaint attentively.

This is very serious Bus Guy says. We will send a patrol car to follow the bus and the bus driver will be notified.

Thank you Miranda says. I will be riding the bus tomorrow to make sure my daughter, oh right Witness Protection son will be okay.

Miranda boards bus with very low expectations and tasteful motivational music on her iPod.

Patrol car pulls bus over.

Patrollers board bus.

Strange Lady not there today.

Does not stop Patrollers.

They speak to Miranda. They speak to her "son". They speak to Bus Driver.

Wait, someone says in big loud voice. This must be about Strange Lady. She's not on bus but look over there - her Husband is here.

Patrollers take Husband off bus.

Tell him to tell wife to smarten up or she will swim with the fishes. (Not literally. The Fishes have closed pool for the season.)

Bus goes on to complete route.

Miranda calls Bus Guy to thank him for job well done and considers the matter closed.

Next day it's raining.

Miranda graciously offers to drive child to bus stop.

Guess who's waiting at bus stop again.

Yes, the Patrollers.

Follow bus. Strange Lady on bus with Husband.

Patrollers pull bus over again. Take Lady and Husband off bus and in the immortal words of Perry from the Wanderers tell them to Leave the Kid Alone.

Told Strange Lady if she bothers Miranda's son one more time this matter will be put into the hands of the police.

Complaint Question:  Why Did the Bus Company and Patrollers Take This Complaint So Seriously? (Choose One)
1. They just finished watching Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 and were feeling inspired.
2. They recognized Miranda from The Art of Complaining Effectively and knew better than to mess with her.
3. Bullying children on the bus is a serious offence and will absolutely not be tolerated.
4. Children in Witness Protection Program always get more protection

It Takes A

Read article about woman who wore the same thing to work every day for three years.

(Not literally.)

She bought 15 white silk shirts and an unspecified number of black trousers (her word - she's European).

Purpose was to simplify her life.

I'm in.

She said nothing however about accessories.

Clearly she was wearing classic and sophisticated pieces very bright and extremely large rhinestone jewelry so naturally I was forced to jump online and order some necklaces with oomph very understated colliers (again - European).

Necklaces delivered the next day.

First one fabulous.

Second one broken. Took it out of package and beads scattered everywhere. Plus oh no is that a cracked rhinestone the size of my wrist tiny seed pearl.

Jumped back on line and filled out comment form.

No response.

Posted on Instagram about how much I like necklace but one arrived broken and this white shirt black pants situation is not going to accessorize itself.

No response.

Four days elapse.

Finally post on Facebook make some inquiries asking if anyone knows the Jewelry People personally, and how lucky am I turns out someone says I Do.

A brief correspondance ensues and Jewelry People could not have been lovelier, agreeing to pick up necklace personally and repair, replace or refund.

Lessons Learned:

1. It's OK to ask for help. Complaining effectively does not necessarily mean complaining alone.
2. If you get no response the first time, it's OK to go back the second and third time until someone heeds your cry. Complaining effectively means not giving up.
3. If you wear black pants and a white shirt to work your life might be simpler, but people might ask you for Perrier with a slice of lime.
4. If you go to Old Navy and ask for trousers they may not know what you are looking for. They are clearly not European.