Now I Know How the Evil Stepsisters Felt

Found the perfect pair of shoes.

Found them on eBay.  Even better.

A few days go by.

No news from deeluxeshoesrus#22228.

E-mail Mr. Deeluxeshoes to see what's up.

Dear Ebaybuyerwith3kidsandfabulousblog,
Thank you for your order of Springtime In Paradise shoes SZ8.5.
Unfortunately, we are out of stock in your size.
We suggest that you take the shoes in SZ7.  They run big anyway.
We will refund you $30 off the original price, and shipping will be free.
Sincerely,
deeluxeshoesrus#22228

Umm, sure.

I want those shoes so badly I will cut off my toes just to fit into them.

(Fingers on your feet? Totally over-rated.)

Complaint Tie-In:  Please do not advertise things on eBay that you do not have, and therefore could not possibly sell, hoping to lure me into your evil clutches with false promises of reduced postage and free shipping.  I almost fell for it.

Happy Ending.

Found shoes on another web site.

Found them in my size.  Even better.

Coulda Happened to Anyone

Husband walks out of the bank with T. (7 year old daughter).

Excuse me sir? Is this yours?

Stranger hands Husband my daughter's blackberry playbook age-appropriate and completely non-electronic toy.

Husband says to T.: We could have lost this.  That would have been very bad.  If you are going to....

Sir?

Are these yours too?

Holds out the car keys.

Thanks.

Point taken.

I Am Sure to Get A Lot of Dinner Invitations After This

Went out for dinner with two friends.

Food, drink.

Friend three shows up.  No thanks, I'll just have a diet Coke.

Picks at our food.

Friend two says to Friend three - c'mon you gotta taste this.

And this.

And this.

Friend three now has napkin on lap and is discussing possible wine pairings.

Bill comes.

Friend one says to Friend three Don't worry, we got it.

Friend two says Ya, you just had a diet Coke, it's our treat.

Looks at the waiter. We'll just split this three ways.

Umm, excuse me?

You are a big sport.

Some may say you are too generous.

Especially since you are spending my money.

Next time we go out, if you want me to treat you need to ask me.

I may say sure, I may say no thank you.

I may say I'm just going to have a diet Coke.

Complaint Tie-In: Now What I am Supposed to Eat With My Nachos?

Have always been fascinated by how people met their closest friends.

Pediatrician's office.

Sat next to each other at a wedding.

Happy hour.  Introduced by a co-worker.

Last night took B and 2 friends out to kick off the birthday season.

Three practically thirteen year old boys put down their cell phones for long enough to have the following conversation:

Dude?

Remember in grade one when you moved to your new house?

And you brought cottage cheese to school and told everyone it was your brother's throw up?

Dude, that wasn't cottage cheese that was guacamole. And it was grade two.

Ok, fine, grade three, remember?

And you looked at me and you were like yo Dude, play along.

And I started eating it? and everyone thought it was barf, and I was like, eating it?

Yeah dude, ever since then we've been friends.

Changed my mind.

Used to find how we met stories fascinating.

Once we take a left turn into eating baby barf, I'd rather talk about knitting.

Results Are In

Negro history the most offensive.

It was a very close call.

Which one is the most offensive? Please vote.

Parent teacher interviews.

Three large tables with books.

Sign says: Save Us From The Recycling Bin.

Couldn't help myself.

Now look on the right hand side of the blog post.

There is a poll.

Click on one of the circles to vote.

I am very curious to see what you think.