Saturday, 21 April 2018

Civil Servant Job Security

(Click here to read yesterday's post so that this story makes sense)

Birth certificate, eligibility document, daughter T and I go to her new school for tour and registration.

Emerge two hours later with lots of information, excitement and long list of errands to complete.

Take a wrong turn and accidentally end up at Amy Schumer's new movie.

Turn phones off.

Emerge two hours later feeling pretty. 

Turn phones back on and have multiple messages, an insta DM  and a snapchat all from son G.

He is looking for his birth certificate.

(That's hilarious. He read my blog.)

He also needs his citizenship.

(Oh. Not joking. And clearly hasn't read it.)

He is finna (fixing to) get his SIN number (like SSN but Canadian) which he had and lost. He went to get another copy of his SIN number and the government office people said he needs his birth certificate and his citizenship even though he already registered for a SIN and it is in the government office computer. 

He came back home to get his birth certificate and citizenship and couldn't find them. I didn't answer my phone because I was laughing my head off in a suburban movieplex  in an important meeting. His stress did not de-escalate.

Potential new job calls and tells him they need his SIN by 4pm. Government office closes at 4pm. It is now 3:17.

Again, stress level not shrinking as clock ticks.

Luckily I know exactly where the documents are because I had them in my hand yesterday.

I tell him to look in gray folder on my desk.

He says it's not there.

I tell him to look in gray folder in my drawer.

He says it's not there.

G says. I just found a gray folder. The only thing in it is T's birth certificate.

That can't be possible. T's birth certificate, second copy and third extra copy are all in folder with me.

(If there's a fourth copy I don't want to know about it now).

I suggest FaceTime.

He hangs up.

Calls his girlfriend.

She says. No problem. I read your mother's blog. It says your documents are in a pink folder.

Oh hey G says. Here is my birth certificate. In a purple folder. Don't believe the blog. Mom makes everything up.

Lessons Learned:
1. You wonder why there are such long lines at government offices. Now you know.
2. Rules of Creative Non-Fiction include merging characters, timelines and locations but substituting pink for purple could actually cause a problem.
3. Turning off your phone in movies not only prevents disturbing your neighbours but actually prevents you from being disturbed as well.

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