Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Garbage IN, Garbage -

Get home and see that garbage has not been picked up from inside garbage can.


There was an extra bag of garbage leaning against the dirt brown garbage bin in a yellow plastic bag that costs ten bucks and is only available at city hall. That bag has been picked up.

But the garbage inside the can is still inside the can.

Call City Hall.

Hi. My garbage was not picked up today.


I need to have the garbage picked up because Jewish Holiday of Passover is around the corner and apart from not eating bread for a week we generate a lot of extra garbage.

Yes I know.  We will have an extra pick up on Friday because of the no-bread-eating-garbage-generating Holiday.

Excellent. But what about the garbage in the can now? I need it picked up today.

Was the garbage in the garbage can?

Yes. I just said that.

Was the garbage can closed?

Well, it couldn't close all the way because it was filled with, er, garbage.

Was the garbage sufficiently compressed?

Compressed? You mean did I push it down?

Yes. You need to push the garbage down.

Ok. Thank you.

(Go outside. Push garbage down so that lid closes.)

Call back City Hall.  I have pushed all my garbage down so now the can closes. 

Garbage is in can and can closes?  Are you sure you didn't press it down too much? If the garbage is too compressed we will not be able to pick it up. 

Complaint Tie-Ins
  1. Now that we have Composting and Recycling to deal with, Garbage does not have a right to be so particular
  2. I feel like there's a Passover/Passing Over joke to be made here but I can't get the line right
  3. The expression "it's not rocket science" shall henceforth be replaced by "it's not garbage collection"

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