Monday, 18 January 2016

Happy Ending

Friend's Husband orders case of Hand cream.

Never arrives.

Husband calls Customer Service.

They say they sent it.

Husband calls back.

Customer Service says they have proof Husband signed for it.

Husband's hands still shockingly dry.

Hand cream Customer Service produces two signed receipts from small towns they have never been to - and would not purposefully go to -  unless possibly starring in an episode of the Amazing Race.

Husband says to Wife: Am Desperate for Hand Cream. You Figure This Out. And passes her the baton, along with his grocery list, dry cleaning receipt and dirty socks.

Wife calls Customer Service almost enough to warrant a restraining order with an alarming frequency until finally speaks to Hand cream Customer Service Agent and explains urgency of situation.

Would you like a refund?

No. I would like my Husband's Hand cream.

Can I interest you in some of our newer products?

No. I would like my Husband's Hand cream.

Hand cream Customer Service Agent confirms that package has been traced and that it will be a few weeks before the order can be shipped because there are some internal procedures that need to be re-engineered.

Friend says she has no doubt that there are processes to be re-engineered. For example, you need to send the product to the person who orders it, not some mysterious address thousands of kilometres away.

However, your internal processes are not my concern, she says.

My husband's lack of Hand cream is, she also says.

So please. Please. Let me know How he can have the hand cream by tomorrow.

Hand cream Customer Service Agent says OK. You win. I will write the label by hand myself. I will drive the hand cream to the closest courier service. Tomorrow at this time, your Husband's hands will be downright silky.

Complaint Lessons Learned

1. Hand cream is not to be taken internally therefore internal processes none of our business.

2. You need to ask for what you want as resolution to your complaint (Hand cream by tomorrow).

3. If you are clear on what you will and won't accept sometimes you can get the Customer Service Agent to pull a pen out of her pocket and fill the label out herself.

3. The key to a happy marriage will sometimes surprise you.





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