Monday, 14 December 2015

How About Smoked Meat on a Croissant

Visiting friend in new city - let's call her Jen - and go for lunch with my Husband and kids entourage.

In line to give sandwich order and Jen says Can you get me a BLT on a bagel I will hold our seats.

Wait my turn.

I'll have a tuna on rye, two turkey specials one no mayo, a quinoa and black bean bowl and a BLT on a bagel.

I'm sorry we don't have BLTs on bagels.

Do you have BLTs?


Do you have bagels?


(Pause meaningfully, hoping server will connect the dots herself. No such luck.)

Turn to 14 year old son, G, and ask him to tell Jen that we can not fulfill order because apparently there are no BLTs on bagels at this fine establishment.

Now Jen is coming toward me and G is holding table.

Woman behind counter grins widely at Jen as though she is her long lost second cousin once removed.

Can I get the usual for you today? A BLT on bagel?

Jen looks at me like Why Was This a Problem.

I look at the woman behind counter like You Just Said No to Me.

You just told me you couldn't do a BLT on a bagel. I say to her.

Well, she says looking at Jen. You didn't tell me it was for her.

Unanswered Questions

1. Was she unauthorized to do a bagel BLT on religious grounds? Like a cheeseburger on challah? Or a shrimp stuffed matzo ball?

2. In the world of lunches and bagels are you obliged to give the end user's identification when placing an order? And how much information is too much? This bagel BLT is for Jen. See her? Sitting over there, holding our seats? Yeah, she's on a break from work. Told them we were some big client. Got to be back in like an hour though because she's on a super big trial. I'm really not supposed to say anything, but you look like you can be trusted. Here's what happened...

3. You know McDonald's secret menu? Is there another, further secret menu shared only among people named Jen? And if that's true, is Jen my friend's real name? Or did I disguise her identity for the purpose of this blog?

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