Monday, 11 May 2015

Same or Different

Story A.

Guy I know looks at money and makes more money with it.

Drives multiple luxury cars one of which breaks down.

Fancy car company has it's own roadside assistance.

Fancy roadside assistance says We Can Meet You and take the car Sir but it will cost you $350 and we will need to take the car for three nights. We will give you a complimentary courtesy car.

There is no way you can fix my car tonight?

No sir.

There is no way you can fix my car tomorrow?

No Sir.

However, because we are Fancy roadside assistance we will bring the complimentary courtesy car right to you.

Grey Poupon? Sounds Great, says Guy. Why don't we meet at my brewery. You can give me the courtesy car and I will give you my broken luxury car.

Fancy shows up and Guy buys him a beer (yes only one and I'm sure it was small) (I'm not a narc)

Relax and chat about rich people things that you and I probably wouldn't understand.

Guy reaches into ermine lined pocket and hands Fancy his car keys. 

Fancy puts down his pint minuscule glass of beer and says On The Other Hand maybe we can fix your car right now.

Story B.

Leaving town for wedding and want to make sure my kids have their suits. 

Bring suits to dry cleaner on Tuesday. 

First words out of my mouth: I Need A Favour.

Leaving Thursday, must have suits, especially this one.

No problem. Thursday after 3pm.

Are you sure? Do you promise? We are leaving Friday morning at 7am. 

Yes of course Ma'am. No problem.

Thursday 3:20pm.
Everything hanging at dry cleaners except suit. Oh wait, suit jacket there. Pants missing.
 Kids have been known to go pantless before but at a wedding? Even we have our standards.

Clerk says Oh I'm Sorry. Pants Not Here.

What time are you open till tonight?

I don't think you understand Ma'am. Pants haven't been cleaned yet. No one here to clean them. They will not be ready today.

Well then I need you to find them for me. I need the pants for tomorrow at 7am. I will take them with me throw them in the washing machine, light a candle to Saint Veronica, patron saint of laundry and hope for the best.

Looks everywhere for pants. Can't find them.  

Thank you so much for trying to help me. I know it's not your fault. You weren't the one who promised me the pants. 

Well, Clerk says. There is one more thing I could do.

Picks up phone.

Calls owner.

Where? Seriously? Oh You're Right. Here They Are. Clean but not pressed. Hanging in the boiler room.

No she can't. She's leaving to a wedding tomorrow morning. 7am. 

I'll ask her.

Turns to me.

Can you stop here on your way to the airport tomorrow? We will have your pants ready at 6am.

Same or Different - Choose One:

A.  Different.  Guy you know owns a brewery and a Fancy car and your kids only have one pair of pants.

B.  Same. They probably drink too much beer at the Dry Cleaner and that's how your pants ended up in the Boiler room.

C. Different. Guy had to ply Fancy with free drinks offer Fancy a cool beverage while all you did was look kind of desperate express appreciation for the clerk.

D. Same. In both cases the company looked like they didn’t really care but in the end provided excellent customer service. Complaining effectively doesn’t always require an actual complaint.

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