Saturday, 10 January 2015

Go to the Gym, Starve an Alligator

Raise your hand if your New Year's Resolution was to join a gym.

Could save your life.

Increased blood flow, lower body mass index, better cardiovascular output.

Not only that.

Reduced social isolation, improved stress reduction, tighter abs.

True but there's more. Latest research shows joining a gym can prevent you from being eaten to death by rabid alligators or at least save you $350.

Colleague's husband went fishing in Florida.  Went to end of pier where there were lots of fish. Also lots of starving alligators.

Caught fish. Left pier, went back to car.  Keys not in pocket.  Walked back to end of pier and look for keys in murky water.

Call car rental company who says it will be $350 for a new set of keys.

Think about jumping in and hunting around but can't because of ravenous alligators.

Can't see keys from pier because same colour as murky water.

But oh wait. What is that fluorescent orange tag glimmering in the water.

Take fishing pole.

Fish out metal ring attached to fluorescent orange tag.

Car keys.

Phew.

Unanswered Questions

1. If alligators were starving, why didn't they just eat the fish?
2. If Colleague and husband were on vacation, why would they have a gym tag on their car rental key?
3. If my gym tag isn't fluorescent orange, is going to the gym still good for my health?




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