Tuesday, 24 September 2013


Not sure whether there has been a statistically significant spike in grocery shopping this time of year but seems like wherever I go people are worrying about melting fudgecicles.

Here's the latest.

Honey can you stop on the way home and get milk.

I have a kid with me.

Great. Can you stop on the way home and get milk.

Stops at grocery store.

Gets milk.

Long line ups. (See what I mean? Everyone is grocery shopping lately.)

Dad we only have one item. We can go to the 6 items or less line. And buy five packs of bubble gum and we'd still be under the limit.

Milk + 1 pack bubble gum = 2 items.  4 to spare.

Dad why does that lady in front of us have millions of items?

The Dad (who is neither my Dad nor the Dad of any of my children) looks into the cart of the lady in front of him.

She does legitimately have many, many items. 24 items in fact.

The Dad asks the woman why she is standing in the 6 or less aisle with a 18 item surplus.

Woman says I have the same item 24 times, it counts as 1 item.

Woman also points out that store is very crowded (thought it was just me) and that she didn't want to wait in another line because she is worried about her melting fudgecicles (She is a huge liar. She has 24 cans of cat food, not a fudgecicle in sight).

Plus, the cashier only has to scan 1 of my 24 items, then press x@24 (or something like that, I'm not a cashier) so it will be quick.

The Dad and the Woman have a loud and obnoxious screaming match, hurling insults at each other in the grocery store free exchange of ideas.

Woman is completely exasperated.  AND YOU ARE HAVING THIS ARGUMENT WITH ME IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILD she shrieks.

Um, lady? says small and adorable child. Not only can I hear, but I can count.

1 comment:

  1. somehow you make it even funnier than the first 36 times I heard this story.....
    For the record, 24 cans of cat food is 24 items. the only time 24 cans of something is 1 item is beer.