Tuesday, 2 April 2013

And If We Wouldn't've Promised Them 100 Virgins They Would've Thought Twice Too

L's husband insisting that she accompany him on overnight trip to fancy gala event.

L is all for black tie and silver shoes but has newborn baby.

Husband points out that with every newborn baby comes a battery operated breast pump.

Your mother can watch the baby, he argues reasonably.  We will be gone less than 24 hours.

(nothing worse than a reasonable husband when you want to pitch a fit)

L throws her sequined top and flowy pants into a tote bag. Realizes she has no choice but to also pack breast pump, case, tubes and emergency battery pack.

En route to the airport.

No longer worried about how newborn baby will survive without her. Now worrying exclusively about whether breast paraphenalia will get through airport security.

Sweating profusely.

Airport security taking a long time with her tote bag.  X-raying it back, forth.

Guard beckons L over.

See? L hisses at her husband.  I knew this was going to be a disaster. How am I going to survive without the breast pump? I never should've agreed to come with you.

L walks up to Guard and before he can open his mouth she says:

I know. I'm sorry. I told my husband the baby was too young to be left alone at home, defenseless with my mother. But he insisted that I come with him on this overnight trip to a fancy gala event.  So, you understand why I had to bring the breast pump? And yeah, it probably looks very scary under your x-ray, but the truth is, it's mostly plastic. I just really had no choice, because if I don't pump I get well you know uh engorged and then how much fun will I be at the gala?

Uh, Ma'am?


L looks over and realizes Guard is holding her can of hair mousse in his hand.

I'm sorry Ma'am, but this is over 100ml. 

Possible Complaint Tie-Ins

  1. Had L's husband not insisted she give him a fun night out of town this whole thing never would have happened
  2. Had L's baby had the decency to be born a few months earlier, she would have been on solid food by the time the gala came around
  3. The Guard could have at least faked concern regarding breast pump just to make L look good
  4. If Osama Bin Laden needed hair mousse when he went carry on maybe he would have thought twice about this whole project

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