Friday, 11 January 2013

My Husband and The Border

1.  Correct Answer is April 5th

Our family takes many road trips.

Endless combinations of adults and children crossing back and forth between Canada and US border.

Husband takes three kids to visit the Rocky Steps  historic and educational Philadelphia.

Stops at Border.

Are these your children, Sir?


What are their birthdays?

April 1st, March 17th and uh, uh, um, er, uh.


April 3rd.

Are you sure, Sir?

April 7th?

Please step out of the car, Sir.

2. You Didn't Tell Me There Would Be an Exam

Have lived in US on two separate occasions with two separate visas.

Sometimes this appears on Border crossing computers.

Border guards then take an above average interest in our responses to mundane questions.

Where do you live, Sir?

Toronto. I mean Downtown, I mean Dollard. No, no Montreal, um, Westmount.

I'm going to have to ask you to pull over, Sir and step out of the vehicle.

3.  I Just Love a Story with a Happy Ending, Don't You?

Anything to declare?

Yes, we spent $12 at Target, $7 at Macy's and a few bucks on groceries.

(Stop smirking.  I may be slightly exaggerating for your benefit but Border guard was given actual amounts).

Anything else, Sir?

There's one more thing.

Husband leans in and says to Border guard conspiratorially.  I bought some jewellery for my wife and I don't want her to how much it costs.

Husband then slips folded receipt into Border guards' hand.

She opens it.  Eyes widen.  Wow, Sir. That is some gift.

Husband blushes slightly, Thank You.

Have a nice evening.


  1. i would laugh except I know that the kids almost had to call you for rescue.....

  2. It's all G's fault. With a brother on April fools' and a sister on St. Patty's, he just falls through the cracks...

  3. now that is one for the history books!! people will be crossing the border here just to meet him!!!
    love it!

    1. Thanks, R. He says he's going to write a blog now, and make fun of me...