Sunday, 27 January 2013

I Drank It Anyway. Obviously.

Three weeks ago.

Friend going through hard time.

Invited her, husband and kids for Friday night dinner.

Aunt going through hard time.

Seated her next to friend.

Realized that 13 year old son B had unfortunately done well on science test and had therefore earned the supper of his choice - grilled steak -, and further realized that's why Hashem invented take-out menus.

Ordered steak, chicken, rice and two salads.

Asked guy to pack them all separately: chicken and steak in two different containers, rice in another, salads individually.

Did not want to get square styrofoam meals and have to start picking them apart in front of company.

Called half hour before pick up to confirm food packed as requested.

Was reassured.


Food arrived smushed together into square styrofoam containers, exactly what I had not asked for.

Went into kitchen and began to surgically remove chicken and steak from each container and attempt to make it look presentable, removing unwanted lemon quarters, flicking off stray grains of rice (that I didn't order) and flaccid broccoli (that I also didn't order).

With the help of very gracious Company, managed to salvage the situation while muttering under my breath I should really be running the world without a bead of sweat on my brow.

So, you think you know what the complaint is, right?

Montreal's answer to a Diner Very fancy restaurant did not follow my specific instructions and to make matters worse LIED to my face about it, promising me that food would be packed to spec.

Nope, that's not it.

I know - your complaint is that you didn't want your Company subjected to the indignity of surgical food removal, yet they insisted on assisting you every step of the way?

(No. And how dare you insult my Company like that? I already told you they were all going through their own hard times.)

Three Weeks Later (Today)

Husband did extensive grocery shopping which allowed me to clean out the fridge.

Tupperware with lemon quarters. Perfect.

Sat down to lunch.

I will squeeze some lemon into my glass before I pour the diet Coke.

Squeezed lemon.

Two grains of rice flew out and landed in glass.

Complaint Tie-Ins:

1. I usually try to conceal my re-using of random food items from my Husband and I was totally busted.
2. I was reminded that had they just followed my instructions in the first place this whole thing never would have happened.
3.  Had I known there was rice in the lemon, I could've used it to thicken the soup.

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