Saturday, 21 May 2011

Judgement Day is coming, get your blueberries ready

I was just cleaning the kitchen (maid's day off) and I came across a ziploc with one blueberry in it.

The ziploc had a sharpie'd message:  "THIS BLUEBERRY SURVIVED 21/5/2011".

(I'd show you a picture, but every time I put a photo or a video on this blog, it throws everyone off).

I immediately realized that this is the work of B, the 12 year old that you may remember from such films as I Just Jailbroke My iPad.

B is afraid because neighborhood kid N who practically lives at my house and is considered part of the family has a teacher who told the students to stay inside all weekend because judgement day is coming and people will be running around with guns.

Why he thinks a single blueberry in a plastic baggie will survive the end of the world is beyond me.  Yes, I splurged and bought name brand ziplocs (no dollar store snack bags for this princess) but let's face it, blueberries are not the toughest fruit out there, and plastic is just not the most flameproof material.

Explaining to B why the blueberry is probably not the best choice for apocalypse survival would be to suspend disbelief long enough to agree that there is an apocalypse, that is likely to happen on schedule, and that it will be sufficiently fiery to destroy anything in its path.

I am also wondering why he thought the blueberry was the most important thing in the house to save.  What about our photographs? Passports? Coin collection? OK, we don't have a coin collection, but if we did?

The choice of B's message is a bit mysterious, even to me, but one thing is clear - he was genuinely worried about the world coming to an end, and wanted to send some kind of a message to all those who come next.  And, yes, we can laugh and joke about how this guy tricked a bunch of people into giving him a cool $18 mil to get saved before the rapture, but you know what - he genuinely frightened a lot of people.  B may have been the only one to put a blueberry forth for posterity, but I don't think he's the only one who got really scared.

I resent this guy for scaring people, for taking their money, and now for selling I survived Judgement Day t-shirts.

Apparently said genius has gone into hiding.  I don't blame him.  I have a blueberry and I'm not afraid to use it.


  1. Maybe we should start a coin collection before 2012?

  2. I'll put my blackberry (the fruit) up against your blueberry any day of the week. May we all live long enough to eat a fresh fruit salad.

  3. Shows r kids r paying attention but did u ask him why a blueberry?

  4. Ho-hum. Just another missed oppurtunity for eternal rest and/or the vainglorious quest for righteous death. Anymore, who gives a shit? Like you wasnt dead meat one way or the other. Food for worms the bard said.