Sunday, 17 April 2011

Bringing all new meaning to the term Hungry Man Dinner

Yesterday, my neighbor's thirteen year old kid walked over to the grocery store, peeled $6 out of his wallet, bought a frozen dinner, came home, nuked it, flopped down in front of the Simpsons and wolfed the sucker down.

Appalling? Not really.

Now let me tell you what really happened.

Yesterday, my neighbor's thirteen year old kid shot a buffalo. Between the eyes. Three hundred pounds of meat and a new freezer in the garage later, they have dinner for the rest of the season.

Now are you appalled? I thought so.

Here's the back story: Neighbor had a client who offered him the opportunity of a lifetime. Hunting buffalo on the plain. Keep the meat. Sounds like a blast, my neighbor said, and I'm bringing my son.

Arriving at the ranch, Neighbor became queasy. Realized that there would be actual shooting and killing of live animals. Son, upon realizing same, became even more enthusiastic.

Out on the range. Buffalo everywhere. Son is a crack shot. Everyone jealous. Teach me how to shoot like him, they clamor. Thirteen year old learns how to take a knife, slice off what has to be sliced, gut what has to be gutted, and does not break a sweat. He will make a great surgeon someday. Neighbor however is in the golf cart throwing up a little in his mouth.

Son leaves ecstatic. So totally retro, dude. Organic, free range meat - no hydrogenated coconut oil, high fructose corn syrup or red dye number five. And I killed it myself. Dude.

The ranch people then take the buffalo, prepare the meat, soak the skin off the head, and a few weeks later Neighbor will get a delivery of the meat and the cleaned skull.

Moral of the story:

Eating meat that was squished into cages, pumped with hormones, processed with chemicals and finally packaged in plastic and then doused with microwave rays has somehow become more socially acceptable than meat that had a nice life frolicking in the meadow till we came along and killed it humanely and compassionately.

Maybe it's time to rethink this one.

1 comment:

  1. Personally, I have an issue with the killing only because teenagers, hormones and guns are a recipe for disaster. But the rest of it is totally fine with me. As a person who makes huge efforts to eat well, I will always pick the fresh over the boxed and I am no fool: I understand very well where my food comes from. Sure, it's a bit hypocritical to not be able to snap a chicken's neck by myself, but I also don't perform surgery, assemble cars or build houses (ok, I probably could do that last one).

    Everyone has a role to play, so let the farmers and hunters deal with the meat. In the mean time, I will go make stuff from scratch and annoy the living heck out of everyone!